No it cannot be
by Don Raphiel
Summary: Hi my first fic so be nice and REVIEW please. Its a 1 chapter fic. this is totaly out of the weird circle and into the v. starnge, b warned. AU, oneshot


No it cannot be  
  
A/N Hi as I said my first ficcy please be nice and review pleeeeeeaaaasssseeeee!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"And what do you think your doing young man!" shouted a very cross old woman, from next door.  
  
She came when she heard the screams of lily's parents.  
  
Voldemort looked completely shocked at the site of an old women with her shopping.  
  
"I see you've been killing some people then, young man,"  
  
She said as Voldemort was stood over lily's parents with his wand drawn.  
  
Voldemort just stood starring.  
  
"I will just go and phone your mother and tell her what you've been up to!"  
  
"NO! Not my mother!"  
  
"Fine it wont be your mother (sigh from voldemort)  
  
but your grand mother."  
  
"NNNO!-"  
  
And at that moment the door came crashing down and onto the old women.   
  
And in the door way was none other than wormtail shaking and hipo-venterlating  
  
"NO-im-a-mur-der..."  
  
"Wormtail you already are one."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"So peeps what's going on then," wondered lily as she walked into the room.  
  
"Ah Miss Evans the only one i wanted to see."  
  
"Ah Mr. Volde what do i owe the pleasure of you wanting to see me?"  
  
"I'm here to kill you,"  
  
"Oh isn't that wonder- You what?"  
  
"I'm here to kill you."  
  
"Why,"  
  
"What's the need to know why you're going to die when you'll be dead."  
  
"Its still nice to know why your going to die."  
  
And at that voldemort raises his wand and lily backs off into a corner.  
  
Then all of a sudden there was an almighty crash and James came crashing in though the window and his newly bought trousers got caught on a bit of glass at the top of the window,  
  
"Oh god dam it, i told my mum these trousers were to big but she wouldn't listen," he said as he was getting the trousers from the window and putting them back on.  
  
"James. Why didn't you just use the door like everybody else?"  
  
James just ignored the comment and went to stand between voldemort and lily.  
  
He stood there muttering to himself saying `why am i here again`  
  
Then he remembered and said,  
  
"You can't kill her."  
  
Then before anyone could say anything Malfoy came bursting though the door;  
  
"See he used the door," Lily hissed to James.  
  
"Oh shut up, at least I had an entrance."  
  
"You can't kill her!" said Malfoy  
  
"Hey I said that first." James moaned  
  
"Oh stop moaning will you," Lily said getting annoyed at the child like way he was acting.  
  
"Well I said that first. He stole my line,"  
  
"Well he can't kill her," Malfoy said.  
  
"Hey what about me. I suppose its ok for me to die then isn't it?" James moaned, again.  
  
"Yeah why" Malfoy asked shocked that he didn't know that.  
  
"What its ok that i dies? Now what did i do to deserve that treatment?!"  
  
"What you don't know? You never invited me t your house."  
  
"You never said you wanted to and plus you never invited me to your house!" said James in his defense.  
  
"And plus you took the only thing i ever wanted from me."  
  
"And What would that be may i ask?!"  
  
"Lily!"  
  
While they were arguing about about lily an unknown person came in naked with a white pillowcase on his head.  
  
"Remus?!" James asked in surprise.  
  
"WWWWhhhhooooooooooooo!"  
  
"No my apologies Sirius I can only see the bottom half of you and believe me you and Remus look alike!" James said apologetic.  
  
"Who- What i do not look like Remus at all. I'm more manly!"  
  
At this lily's discustered face turned into a laughing face.  
  
Voldemort was just stood there thinking `No way im more manly than him.`  
  
"Right sorry to brake this erm lovely moment but there some people i came here to kill and i insist on doing so." Voldemort said.  
  
"NO! You're not going to kill my Lily." Malfoy screamed.  
  
"Your Lily. Your Lily. I believe she's my Lily."  
  
Shrieked James.  
  
"Do you mind talking about me, i am here you know. But to be honest im not either of yours. Im Voldes."  
  
"AAAAHHHH!" Voldemort screamed running off out the door with lily following screaming "No, my darling wait for me, I Love You!"  
  
Then James says, "I think i lost that one."  
  
"Well that was unexpected" Malfoy said and the two of them went away together. Holding hands.  
  
Then as they were leaving Remus came in with a flock of girls following him.  
  
"Yoyo, Remus drop your trousers will ya i need to see whose is bigger."  
  
"Yeah no prob Sirius."  
  
A/N so what did you think hey. As I said before please review. 


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